This past Sunday we celebrated my son’s first birthday. The year has flown by, as they often do, but it has been one of the most difficult years of my life. The postpartum recovery was very long, and learning to manage three small children has been challenging. Yet, I am so grateful for my son and the joy that he has brought to our family. So this week I want to share his birth story with you. Next week, we will continue the series on postpartum weight loss.
Nicholas’ Birth Story
It was still dark when I woke up. I looked around the bedroom, half awake, listening for one of my toddlers crying or something else that might have awoken me. Then, ooh! That was it. I felt the twinge of a contraction radiating through my body. My due date was only a couple days away, but since this was my third child and I had many contractions prior to this which made me think I was in labor, I tried not to get too excited. Besides, the contractions were spaced out pretty far and seemed to be very irregular. Somehow I managed to go back to sleep.
The next morning was a Saturday, and I woke up and went about my normal routine of feeding children, cleaning up messes and doing dishes. I even decided to bake some cookies, which I regretted about halfway through. The contractions were coming and going periodically throughout the day, but again, they were irregular and definitely not the stereotypical “5 minutes” apart! However, they were starting to feel more intense, and halfway through the cookie baking they were starting to get uncomfortable. But they were still many minutes apart and although uncomfortable, I could still talk through them.
That night my husband, an Eastern Orthodox Priest, had to go to church in order to serve our weekly Vespers service. Before he left I briefly thought about asking him to stay, since the contractions were getting a little stronger, but as I still wasn’t sure that I was in active labor, I decided to let him go. As a side note, my two previous births, although natural, did not follow a typical labor pattern. So this was actually my first spontaneous labor.
So with my husband gone, the contractions started to pick up. Of course! I was getting to the point where I was not pleasant to be around, and I had to put two stubborn toddlers to bed. After some yelling, then begging and pleading, I finally was able to get them in bed. Then the realization hit that this might be it. I may be in actual labor. Yet, I still didn’t want to get my hopes up, so I tried not to get too excited. I went in my room and tried to pull some things together to pack my birth bag to take with me to the birth center. With my first child this had been done weeks in advance, but when you have two little kids many things fall by the wayside and this was one of them.
The contractions started to get sharper and more frequent, and I found myself leaning over the birth ball every time one came. At this point, I decided to get into the bath tub. I thought that the warm water would be soothing, and since I was planning to have a water birth at the birth center it would be good practice. Some women experience a lull in contractions when they get into water, but not me. They seemed to intensify. This could be the effect of my body relaxing into labor, but it was definitely getting to the “Oh my gosh, this is not fun” part! Amazingly (in hindsight) I still was not 100% sure that I was in labor. I think that part of this doubt was due to nerves. Every time I got into active labor with my other two children I got nervous, because I knew that there was no turning back. It felt like when you get on a roller coaster and start climbing the hill. You want to get off, but you know you have to go down the hill.
After trying various positions in the bathtub, I decided to get out, since I was really uncomfortable. My doula, also a close friend, was traveling 3 hours to be at the birth. She also had two young children, and I did not want to call her and ask her to find childcare for her children and start the long drive to the birth center if I was not completely sure that this was it. It was also starting to rain. Still, I called her and told her the situation and that I thought I was in labor, but was not totally sure. She gave me some advice and told me that she would start making the preparations so that she could drive down.
When I got off of the phone with her, contractions were definitely much more intense and frequent. I downloaded an app that timed my contractions and noticed that some were 2 minutes long and only about 5 minutes apart, but then they would spread out. By the time my husband, Jason, got home from church, I was sprawled over the birth ball, listening to Hypnobabies on my earphones. Hypnobabies is a wonderful birth program that teaches visualization techniques to help the mother during labor. I had been using the program throughout my pregnancy to prepare for labor, and I definitely needed it now.
Jason asked me if I wanted him to run out and pick up some food, since we hadn’t eaten dinner yet. I wasn’t hungry at all, but said that he could run out to get something as long as he hurried. He left, and once again, I regretted not asking him to stay. The contractions were getting hard and I really needed to focus in order to get through them.
Jason got back with the food and asked again if I wanted any. I emphatically said “no!”. Once he saw me, he realized that things were getting serious and decided it was time to call our friends and family who had promised to watch our children while we were at the birth center. By then the rain was coming down heavily and it was thundering and lightning as well. I think that I was so wrapped up in getting though each contraction and trying to make sure that I had everything I needed for the birth center, that I was completely oblivious to the weather.
It took me a while to get dressed, since every time a contraction came, I had to get on my hands and knees to get through it. Within 30 minutes, a close family friend arrived to watch the children, while my dad and his girlfriend traveled the 1.5 hours it took to get to our house. The weather didn’t help matters. When our friend arrived she mentioned that some of the roads were starting to flood and the conditions were bad. Then she looked at me and was shocked to see that I was so far along into the labor. By this time the contractions were about 2 minutes apart and were lasting 1-2 minutes and were very very intense. I was moaning through each one. She must have realized that I had probably waited at home too long. I was definitely in transition at this point, although I did not realize this at the time.
We tried to hurry out to the car, but it took a while, since I kept dropping to my knees for the contractions. Outside, the wind was blowing, and the rain was pouring. We finally made it to the car. I had a pillow to lean on, and my ipod with hypnobabies playing. We had a 25-30 minute drive ahead of us in torrential rain. It was excruciating! At least when I was at home I could change positions in order to feel more comfortable during the contractions, but in the car I really could not change positions and each contraction seemed like it lasted forever. To make matters worse, traffic was moving especially slow for 8:00PM on a Saturday night, due to the weather. My poor husband was trying to focus on the road so that we could get to the birth center as quickly and safely as possible, while I yelled at him to “drive faster!” and “go through the red lights!” He was also on the phone with my doula, updating her on the situation. On top of that I kept yelling at him to talk me through the contractions and support me and pray for me. All while he was driving in a nasty rain storm.
I have to say that the car ride was the worst and most difficult part of this labor. We finally arrived at the birth center around 8:30PM. Jason had to go in first so that the midwife who was meeting us there could unlock the door. Then it took me several minutes to find a break in between contractions to move myself into the building.
I got inside, and I immediately noticed that the birth pool was set up, but not filled. We had called the birth center before leaving our house so that the midwife would know that we were coming and get the birth pool ready. The midwife who was on call was one that I had not felt comfortable with during our appointments. I tried not to let these factors affect my concentration and focus on moving this baby out, but darn it! I wanted a water birth! I originally had wanted a home birth, but due to cost and issues with insurance it did not work out. So I had hoped to at least get my water birth.
I think that the nurse on call and the midwife were surprised that I was so far along in labor. Although I had not been examined yet by the midwife, I’m sure they could tell from my facial expressions, moaning and non-responsiveness that I was gonna have this baby soon. At this point I knew that the baby was coming soon too. In fact, I was worried during the entire car ride that I would be pushing this baby out on the side of the road somewhere. Thank God that didn’t happen!
The midwife asked to examine me during a contraction to find out how far dilated and effaced I was, and I told her that I would not lay down in the bed, because I knew how painful it would be. So thankfully she agreed to check me while I was on my hands and knees. I did not want to know where I was in terms of dilation and effacement, because if I heard that I was only 5 cm dilated, I think I would have lost it. What I didn’t see was that the midwife signaled to my husband behind my back that I was 10cm dilated. This was about 5 minutes after walking into the birth center! We had just made it.
I waited for the birth pool to fill with water and kept asking when I could get in. As soon as the nurse gave me the go ahead, off went my clothes and I jumped in. Well, as good as a heavily pregnant woman about to push her baby out could “jump in”! The water seemed to help a little, but the contractions were still hard. I held my husband’s hand and asked him to talk me through the contractions. After about 5 minutes of being in the birth pool I felt a definitive “pop” and I knew that my water had broken. I told the nurse, who was surprised that everything was happening so quickly. Shortly after this, I announced “I need to push!” I pushed for couple of minutes and the baby’s head was out, followed by his body. Because babies live in amniotic fluid, it is not dangerous for them to be born into water. Once they are taken out of the water, they take a breath and their lungs inflate with air.
Because the birth happened so fast, I was in shock. The midwife had to tell me to pick up the baby. Then she quickly noticed that his umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck. We both unwrapped the cord, and he was fine. I sat there and held my son, Nicholas, still in shock. The baby didn’t cry at first and looked around, taking it all in. Then he began to cry. He was perfectly healthy, weighing in at a little over 6lbs. Despite the obstacles, it had been the best birth experience for me of all three kids.
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